Tag Archives: Us Magazine

It’s Audrina’s Birthday!

10 May

But more importantly, how does she look in a bikini? That’s the only question on Us Magazine‘s mind when celebrities age.

You’re almost 30, Audrina. And you know what happens after 30? Not BBQs, I tell you what.

Source: Us Magazine

Photo: Splash News

Lady Gaga Calls It

14 Apr

Wait, you mean she didn't use The Secret to lose weight?

A couple of years ago, when asked how she kept herself so slim, Lady Gaga responded, “I’m on a very strict healthy pop star diet. I don’t eat bread, just vegetables and salad and fish. Eating like that is much better for me anyway but on Sundays I sometimes eat pasta.” Months later, she allowed Harley Pasternak to come out of the closet as her personal trainer and dietician. And if you’ve been on Pasternak’s 5-Factor diet, as I have, you can attest to the fact that even though you’re eating 5 times a day, it often feels like you’re not eating at all. That said, it does exactly what it says on the tin.

Back then, it seemed people recognized the tongue-in-cheek humour behind the notion of a “pop star diet.” So it’s a little surprising that people got so offended by the following tweet:

Just killed back to back spin classes. Eating a salad dreaming of a cheeseburger #PopSingersDontEat #IWasBornThisWay

Us Magazine‘s Ariana Finlayson – who’s an expert at telling us when Ashley Judd’s face looks puffy (or Lara Flynn Boyle‘s, for that matter), when Vanessa Lachey eats something, or what Mark Wahlberg’s body looks like – used her journalistic superpowers to report on Lady Gaga’s outraged fans.

Though Ms. Finlayson said the singer’s tweet “could be taken as a pro-anorexic statement,” it bears mentioning that Lady Gaga acknowledges eating a salad. And though she’s dreaming of a cheeseburger (which is par for the course when you’re on any diet), her tweet seems more like a not-so-subtle, if ironic condemnation of the difficult standards celebrities – especially females – have to maintain.

Of course, Ms. Finlayson’s the one getting paid to write this shit. Me? I’m pro bono.

Source: Us Weekly

Writer: Ariana Finlayson

Photo: Interscope

Matthew Rutler Likes Big Boobs, And He Cannot Lie

10 Apr

By Hollywood standards, a man like Matthew Rutler deserves a golden shrine and a cult of followers. According to Us Magazine, Christina Aguilera’s boyfriend loves her, lock, stock and barrel.

“I love my body. My boyfriend loooooves my body. My son is healthy and happy, so that’s all that matters to me,” Lady Aguilera told Marie Claire magazine.

To remind us why this merits any mention at all, Us treats us to a whole slideshow on Aguilera’s body, from her itty-bitty teenage frame to her voluptuous adult figure. They tell us it’s her “Body Evolution,” but it might as well be called “From Skinny to Not in 13 Photos.”

Source: Us Magazine

Photos: Getty Images

Why Ashley Judd Should Replace Me as Editor of The Scrawn

9 Apr

In this most eloquent piece, Ashley Judd addresses the media flurry caused by her “puffy” appearance last month.

The gossipers lynched her for being on steroids, having plastic surgery, getting older or gaining weight, sometimes a variation of two or more of these. “We won’t even address how extraordinary it is that a size eight would be heckled as ‘fat,'” she says.

She rightfully calls out picking apart women’s bodies for its inherent misogyny. Ironically, she points out, women are largely the ones doing the picking apart. And if you think it’s hogwash, consider that Liz Raftery wrote about it for People, Debbie Emery represented for Radar Online, perennial favourite Ariana Finlayson was on top of it for Us Magazine, and Cara Harrington covered it for Hollywood Dame.

Judd asks, “Why was a puffy face cause for such a conversation in the first place? How, and why, did people participate?” I wonder how the media would respond. I bet they simply won’t. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.

Photo: Wenn, Splash News

Whoa! Pregnant Vanessa Lachey is Eating Again?

2 Apr

Vanessa Lachey has developed quite an appetite since a baby started to grow inside her uterus, and Us magazine‘s Ariana Finlayson is all over it. Here, Finlayson almost misses the product placement and focuses instead on Mrs. Lachey’s bold decision to pose sans makeup.

I know you took this photo yourself, Vanessa, but you are *sooo* busted.

Finlayson concludes her investigative piece by reminding us that Vanessa ate something last weekend, too.

Actual quote: “White cheddar Pirate’s Booty isn’t the only snack the first-time mom to be has been satisfying her pregnancy cravings with — on Saturday Vanessa chowed down on a double-scoop cone while Nick snacked on both a  cone and a cup.”

Source: Us Magazine

Writer: Ariana Finlayson

Photo: Vanessa Lachey’s Twitter

Slow News Day: Mark Wahlberg Edition

1 Apr

Women aren’t the only ones facing skewed messages about body image. Men get it too. And their ideal is even harder to reach. Take US magazine‘s filler piece on Mark Wahlberg’s buff bod. You only get like this if you eat nothing but chicken, egg whites, spinach, rice and protein shakes. In other words, if you’ve cauterized your own taste buds.

He would've saved us all from 9/11.

In case you needed a reminder that you are not Mark Wahlberg.

Source: US Magazine

Writer: Ariana Finlayson

Photo: Pacific Coast News

Celebrities Are Too Fat

1 Apr

Ever notice how women and men in classic paintings were a little rotund? That’s because they were rich enough to hire an artist to paint their portrait. Money also meant you could eat. And eating was the kind of thing that caused paupers to covet their neighbours.

Leave it to TMZ to devote a whole slideshow to celebrities who finally made enough money to eat three square meals a day.

TMZ wasn’t the only media outlet to treat celebrity weight gain with such finesse. Us magazine also jumped on board with a slightly different angle. It looked like they were on the celebrities’ side, too, until they picked the most unappealing photos for their slideshow.

Same shit, slightly shittier?

Sources: TMZ, Us Magazine

Photos: Getty, Wire Image